Traffic “Pet Peeves”

I am so happy that there are people, regular citizens, who take it upon themselves to insure that the roadways of America are always safe and flow smoothly. These people are unsung heroes and I want to bring them out of the shadows and recognize them now.

I am, of course, writing about those motorists who stand ever vigilant at every traffic light in the nation with their palm firmly placed on the horn. These super motorists jump into action as soon as the traffic signal turns from red to green. Before we “mere motorists” are even aware that the light has changed they honk, sometimes just a little beep, but much more often it is a long, extended, angry hoooooooonk! This immediate notification to whoever is stopped at the front of the line jars them into action fractions of a second prior to when they would have reacted without the embarrassing, uninvited, unwelcome notification.

Think of the impact these super motorists have on the roadways of our nation. These unwanted blasts at every traffic signal multiplied by the several times a day they are heard probably save minutes, if not hours, of drive time for motorists in farmlands to major cities over a twelve month period. Oh sure, they are irritating, unwelcome, unnecessary and unwanted. Perhaps they have been the cause of more than one road rage incident. Maybe, sometimes, minor injuries or hospitalizations have resulted. But think of the greater good! If only one driver arrives at their destination 1/4 second sooner than they would have without the honk, isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t that worth all of the under the breath, or right out loud, possibly out the window expletives that aren’t deleted?

A polar opposite of the traffic signal super heroes are the passing lane procrastinators. These are the people who pick a speed, often at the speed limit or below it, and then enter the “passing lane.” The passing lane is called that because it is designed to be a lane to enter only to pass slower traffic on the right. After passing the car on the right the rules of the road require the passing motorist to return to the right lane unless it is unsafe to do so or there is another slower moving vehicle in the right lane. I suspect the procrastinators stay in the left lane for many reasons: They see a car miles ahead in what they believe might be the right lane and they believe they will, eventually, catch up to that car if it too is traveling well under the speed limit. Perhaps they feel that traveling 68 mph in a 65 mph zone must be done in the fast lane only. There is also a chance that the factory installed speedometer is stuck at 95 and they have not realized it. I have written an “Ode to those who go slow.”

I’m in the fast lane but don’t go fast
I drive for miles without hitting the gas
If you’re behind me you just may ask
Why you in the fast lane when you don’t go fast?

Questions? Comments?