WHAT THIS “POST COVID” BOOMER HAS BEEN DOING

As I have confessed in previous posts I am not a big electronics guy. You might say I was dragged into this “New electronic age” kicking and screaming. While I fight the new age on a daily basis, it is gaining ground on me and, I anticipate, will soon overcome me.

I don’t see my eventual capitulation to computers as complete or devastating. I compare it to my mother trying to play her albums on my brother’s new stereo in the late 60’s. She hopelessly fumbled with it and we took the opportunity to relentlessly make sport of her. I now regularly have difficulty with computers and other electronic equipment, and my children and grandchildren enjoy my struggles much more than they should-Karma? Either way, it will be reflected in my will.

Recently I was shopping for birthday presents for two of my grandchildren. They are my daughter Bridget’s second and third oldest, both born in June. I called Bridget and asked her to send me a list of gift ideas. She immediately responded with a Target gift registry- like future bride’s did (and maybe still do) when I was young. I texted her back after she didn’t answer her cell phone (In this new age I find people seldom answer phone calls).

Bridge, I don’t want to go through this whole gift registry thing. Could you just send a list? She responded with an electronic eye roll before saying/texting, “Dad, it’s simple. Just tap on the website I sent you, scroll down the lists- Noah and Kylie each have their own- and then you can order their gifts off the list and pay for them with pay-pal or a credit card of your choice. You could also go to the store (The old-fashioned way) and buy one. If you go to the store you will still have to bring up the website so you can let the cashier scan the registry to remove that item.”

Did that sound simple to you?

First off, I don’t have pay-pal and I expect to die before I am forced to get it- I said the same thing about Facebook and Facebook won. The saga continues.

I went to Target and located the toy department without any problem. I found a toy on the list for each child, with the help of a very friendly associate. I went to the checkout and told the girl who helped me that I had no idea how to remove the items to avoid duplicate purchases. The girl, who was younger than me – of course most people are younger than me nowadays- could not figure out how to remove the purchases from the registry. She sent me to the service counter. The girl at the service counter, with a very friendly and helpful attitude, started with saying, “Oh that’s simple, you just…” It has been my experience that very often when a person starts a task with that comment no good comes after it. I was wrong. The girl did fumble a little, but I was out of there pretty quickly and the kids loved their presents.

Working a lot of overtime and raising 7 kids did not leave me a lot of time for golf. I estimate I have golfed 25 times or less in my long, long life. There have been many years that I did not get out once. Maybe it will help to clarify if I tell you that 8 of my 25 golf dates occurred before I started high school. Rob and Tim, my childhood friends who lived next door, were caddies and used to take me to their country club on caddy day for a free 18 holes and swimming after-words, just like “Caddy Shack.”

Well, back to current times, I decided that I would try to improve my game and start to golf more often. After I told him that my brother Paul signed me up for a tournament. I was concerned because my clubs had been purchased in 1968 and ’69 back when I was taking advantage of caddy days. Rob had suggested I go to the local outlet store to save money. He was left handed, like me, and told me that the left handed clubs don’t sell well and often end up at the outlet stores. So, I had a 1960’s era starter bag a 3,5,7 and 9 iron a 1 & 3 wood and a very basic putter. If you’re not a golfer let me put it this way- I had about the most basic of clubs bought at an outlet store and those basic clubs could officially be listed as antiques.

I decided to improve my arsenal with a new wood and one or two irons. At the first sporting goods store I stopped at I was told that they don’t stock left handed clubs. I made a joke about that being prejudicial against a minority group- left handers. The clerk looked very upset until I assured him it was only a bad joke and I was not planning a lawsuit. The clerk gathered himself together and suggested another store, miles away. I went to that store where I was told they had left handed clubs intermingled with the right handed clubs. That clerk told me to expect a sticker shock and showed me a driver priced at $789.00.

I have no problems shifting on the run and decided to go to as many stores as I needed to searching to find one cheap driver. I told the salesperson that I am not a professional golfer. I added that not being a professional I am not looking for a professional club, I told him I was looking for a reasonably priced club and he showed me what is called a “box set.”

The box set was a modest collection of clubs including a driver, a fairway driver, 4 irons, a putter, a sand wedge and a bag for $266.00. I pulled out my credit card and was out the door in no time, with a new set of clubs. 

The good news? I golfed in the tournament and finished second in my foursome. The bad news? Everyone in my foursome golfed poorly and my score was 20 over par- as bad as bad can be. 

What about lawn care you might ask? 

People seem to assume senior citizens are obsessive about lawn care since Clint Eastwood demanded the gangbangers “Get off my lawn” in the 2008 movie “Gran Torino.”

Well that’s not me! At least it wasn’t until this year when I finally broke down and paid for a service to treat my grass 5 times a year. I can’t believe the improvement! I now have a beautiful lawn! I am so excited about it, I can’t believe how quickly the weeds were gone and the grass became thick. 

No, I’m not yelling at the neighborhood kids; at least not yet. But WOW! You should see it! Sorry, I’ll try to calm down. 

Well, that’s a little bit about me. What about you? What’s new with your lives?

Please let me know if you liked this, and even if you didn’t. Comment on some of your thoughts on your “Post Covid Life.”

Thanks