Oh Danny Boy!

October 2nd was a bittersweet day for me.

I participated in the annual Prevent Suicide Walk at Montrose Harbor on Lake Michigan in Chicago. The March was organized by The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention/Out Of The Darkness Community Walks.

I drove down with one of my sons, one of my daughters, her husband and 5 of my 8 grandkids. We had a large group, but not as large as we usually have. By usually I mean every year since my son Daniel decided he could no longer fight his depression, Asperger’s Syndrome and other problems and took his life in June of 2019.

I’ve spoken about him before so today I will only say he made my life fuller, happier and more rewarding and losing him has left a hole in my heart big enough to drive a truck through. The tears still come regularly, not as much as when it first happened. If you want to see a grown man cry ask me some questions about Danny, you’ll get the waterworks you were hoping for, every time!

Daniel was always considerate of others and left several “drafts” of a note that described his anger about many of the crosses he was forced to bear. Each draft also documented the love he felt for, and from his family. Knowing danny felt and apprreciated our love has meant a lot to me. This knowledge is one of the silver linings in the cloudy life since we buried our son, brother, uncle, nephew, Godfather, cousin, grandson and friend of many.

Danny sometimes shared his feelings with me and others, more often, he held them inside for reasons of his own.

My family and I walked the trail along Lake Michigan with thousands of others.

How sad- THOUSANDS OF OTHERS FEELING THE PAIN MY FAMILY AND I FELT THAT DAY!

As I walked, or visited the many booths, I looked at the shirts that read “Team Jonathon” “Reaces Nieces” or many, many others I cried inside thinking of all the people mourning for wonderful people who felt they couldn’t take anymore. Wonderful people who didn’t realize the strength in the love others had for them. Wonderful people who might be alive today if they had asked, one more time, for help from their literal army of friends and relatives!

As usual some of my party cried openly. I hugged them when I saw it and prayed God would ease their pain.

The backs of the the shirts my daughter Bridget had printed read, “If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.”

Sweet, simple, beautiful! Someone has suggested that the next shirts be lighter, maybe a joke. I’m working on that, but I know in my heart that if love could have saved Danny, he would still be alive!

I ask anyone contemplating suicide to please call a friend, call a local helpline, call suicide helpling 1 800 273 8255 or contact www.afsp.org/illinois.