MY SUNDAY ROUTINE AS AN “OLD GUY”

A lot of things have happened to me in the last few years. I’m sure most “Boomers” can empathize with, at least, some of what will follow. If you’re not a “Boomer” this may help you prepare for your “golden years”- as I failed to do.

I was forced to retire (Due to age) in 2020. Since that time, I’ve been trying to figure out how to be retired. One thing I’m doing is writing this blog. Not to toot my own horn but, after almost three years, I am finally hitting my goal pace of 5 posts a week. If nothing else, the blog is helping me to feel I am contributing in some way- I hope you agree.

While I was working, if I had a Sunday off, it would be a day I could shut down, relax, spend some time with the family. Now Sundays are just another day. I know, people reading this who have not retired are wondering how this could possibly be a problem. This whole retirement thing has me scratching my head. It’s hard, for me, to go from a career that tended to be hectic, terrifying, dangerous, boring, physically draining, mentally draining, rewarding and more to feeling proud when I have three “things to do” for the upcoming week.

I knew fellow cops who worked hard their whole life, retired, and died soon after. I assumed this was because they went from a heavy adrenaline draw job where every minute, every phone call, every radio transmission might mean your life would be changed forever. Honestly, I probably had less than 200 of those actual calls in my 35 years of law enforcement including 6 years as a jail guard and 29 as a patrol officer. That being said, my adrenaline drop occurred every time I heard my number called on the radio. My blood flow would eventually level off after the assignment became less than challenging, but the drop occurred on a regular basis. I feel my associates who died shortly after retirement were not able to physically adapt to a new, stagnant, lifestyle.

It is nice to have limited responsibility now. It is also a challenge to force myself to wake up at a reasonable hour and accomplish a few things every day.

That being said, I am trying to make Sunday’s days that I accomplish something. I don’t want to work on the Sabath, but I don’t want to go to bed wondering why I wasted an entire day.

It’s become my routine to visit the cemetery where my parents and my son are buried after attending mass.

This may not seem important to some of you but read on. It is something I truly believe I need for my own sanity.

Everyone expects to outlive their parents. Nobody expects to outlive their children. I come from a large family and also have many friends who are parents. As I stood by my son’s casket in 2019 and watched an endless stream of relatives, friends, associates and clergy walk past they spoke as one when each, individually, said they did not have any way to express or imagine the pain of losing a child. I didn’t either, until that terrible day.

My way of dealing with it is to spend a portion of most Sundays at my son’s gravesite. BOY! Just writing that makes me cringe, tear up, and smile all at the same time. Just so you know, I’m smiling now, as I try to do always. Remembering my son’s personality, smile eagerness to make others happy.

Other Sunday things I do vary as much as possible.

I like to take long motorcycle rides when the weather permits. I have ridden to Iowa (Antique Archeology- Where part of the TV Show “American Pickers” is filmed) and many scenic places in Illinois, Starved Rock State Park, Silver Springs State Fish and Wildlife Area and assorted four lane highways in Illinois that allow me to see nothing but heavy wooded areas or rustic farms with barns in good and terrible condition. I sometimes pull over and photograph them. I find that is a relaxing thing to do, even though it sounds extremely boring as I am writing it.

Other things us “Old Retired Guys” do is spend time with family. Generally, a good rule, in my opinion, is that family time trumps anything else. If I get a last-minute invite to spend time with one of the kids or some of the grandkids, I am inclined to cancel anything I had penciled in for that day and go. I believe most of my friends feel this way and I have been told by some of my kids that they appreciate my willingness and ability to help them almost any time they request it (some of my kids don’t have children). Don’t get me wrong. I don’t look forward to changing dirty diapers. I do look forward to family parties and bean bag tournaments, in which my son and/or my father-in-law regularly school me.

Family parties are great, relaxing and really do make retirement enjoyable. While I was working many family parties were stressful because I was often scheduled on weekends and holidays. It was sometimes necessary to go right to the party after working an eight- or twelve-hour shift. Sometimes the party had already started when I got off work. Sometimes I would have to leave the party early and go to work my shift.

One terrible Christmas Eve I was working afternoon shift, scheduled to get off at 11 PM. I had Christmas off. I was dispatched, at about 10:30, to a call for an aggravated sexual assault that had just occurred. I arrived and was told by the victim (A small framed 86-year-old female) that her live-in caretaker had been brutalizing her since approximately 4 in the afternoon and had, finally, left the residence. She told me she called as soon as he walked out and warned he might still be in the area.

Needless to say, I was on that call for a long time.

My sister had invited us to go to 11:00 AM Christmas Mass with her and her family and then to her house for a party. When we got the invite, my wife and I agreed that when I got home (Expected to be around midnight) we would put the kids gifts out, get about 5 hours sleep and then enjoy a morning with the kids before leaving for the mass and party.

During that terrible incident I was giving my frustrated wife updates when I was able to- as to when I might get home. This is a good explanation of why so many police officers, like me, eventually divorce. This incident was not isolated.

I finally cleared the call and raced to the church, arriving about 15 minutes late for Christmas Mass! I had missed all the fun of Christmas morning with my family and replaced it with an unspeakably evil crime to investigate. My wife was left with the burden of dealing with seven kids. Prying them away from their new toys for breakfast and getting them ready for church. Once again, our plans for a perfect day were overrun by a most heinous crime that I couldn’t forget about as I was trying to sing “JOY TO THE WORLD!”

Anyone who goes to church for Christmas Mass knows how crowded they are. I stood in the back and caught up to my family as they were leaving. When I saw how beautiful my wife and family looked, I was overwhelmed comparing the beauty of this moment with all the filth and evil I had been dealing with the previous 12 hours. I was actually crying out loud (One of my dad’s favorite sayings) when I embraced my wife. We hurried out of the church, but I’m sure some people were wondering why this cop was crying on Christmas Day!- Don’t worry, on top of everything else, my wife brought a change of clothes for me.

Sorry, I wandered off of fun Sundays a bit, didn’t I?

A few other Suday distractions are card games, cook outs, watching grandkids sports events, floor hockey, football, baseball, soccer, dining out, board games, and more.

I hope you found my list of Sunday distractions entertaining and, maybe, informative.

What are your favorite Sunday activities?

As usual, if you liked this please comment. If you didn’t, please tell me why. Tell friends about this blog and like and share.

Thanks for reading the whole thing, Phil.