HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I am one of the many who believe that you can’t say too many good things about mothers.

I spent last Sunday with two of the many mothers I know who have given above and beyond what is necessary to help their children and grandchildren find happiness and success.

This is the first mother I met, my mother.

I was the fifth of her six children. My mother helped my father raise my siblings and me; they worked together to provide as happy and nurturing a household as possible. My mind is full of examples of things mom did for me, or my siblings, that turned a bad day into a good day, or a frown into a smile.

Mom was a stay-at-home mother until sometime after my little sister started full-time school.

Mom started to work as a medical secretary/receptionist at a doctor’s office about a mile and a half from our home. She would get us off to school, go to work and hurry home to care for us when we returned from school. There was a short gap in which my oldest brother, who was in high school, would have to watch us on some days.

We were a one car family in the early days. Dad carpooled with two men he worked with who lived in the neighborhood, which allowed mom to have the car for work two out of three weeks. On the week she didn’t have a car she made other arrangements, which sometimes meant a long walk.

At some point we were able to afford a second car and mom took jobs further away from home that paid better. Her last job was as an executive secretary for one of the top men in a worldwide chemical company.

While she did work full-time jobs for much of my life, it seemed like she was home a lot too. I remember walking home from grade school many years ago and smelling fresh baked cinnamon rolls, cookies or bread. Just the smell of those treats could turn a bad day around in an instant.

I was blessed to have a mother who put her family first in many ways. She worked hard at work and worked harder at home. We had complete dinners almost every day but Sundays were always special (Roast Beef, Ham, Turkey- fast food was not a thing). On many of those Sundays mom would cook for her parents or my dad’s father, which included driving into Chicago to pick them up as none of my grandparents drove.

As tired as she was, from all she did, mom was always willing to let my little sister and me climb into bed with her, before our bedtime, and she would read the bible to us, or just listen as we would bring her up to date on our lives.

I was blessed to have her, for sure. One last example of what kind of woman she was.

Mom was able to finish her life at home, in hospice care. The three siblings who stayed in the Chicagoland area were able to handle her care. I was staying with her on a night that I misread as her last. She was showing all of the signs hospice told us to look for as indications her life was ending. I called a priest and all of the local relatives and warned them that I feared mom was going to die very soon.

The priest showed up in the pre-dawn hours and administered the anointing of the sick. He heard my mother’s confession and gave her Holy Communion. I thanked him and started preparing for the crowd I expected to say good-bye to her. She was very loved, and we have a lot of relatives in the area.

About fifteen people were in mom’s condominium and I went to answer the door, yet again.

To my surprise, when I went to escort this guest into mom’s room she wasn’t there! Mom had gotten up and was preparing snacks for the guests.

I was aware that the anointing of the sick has been known to, sometimes, result in an improved status. I didn’t expect it. I thought mom was done.

Thank God we got another few days with her! I was thrilled, and I was embarrassed. Mom quoted Mark Twain by saying, “The report of my death has been greatly exaggerated!”

These are the two mothers I was lucky enough to spend Mother’s Day with. My ex-wife and my oldest daughter. My ex-wife, Eileen, is an excellent mother. We raised seven children together. I worked a lot of hours trying to make the money to feed, clothe and house our troop. That left Eileen with the brunt of the childrearing, in addition to working outside of the home herself.

Eileen worked in retail, senior services, bookkeeping and waitressing (I’m probably missing something). This picture was taken Mother’s Day in the restaurant where Eileen is currently working. Jaime, the daughter pictured here, wanted to get together at a restaurant so Eileen would not end up cooking or doing dishes. Much to our dismay Eileen started bringing out drinks and clearing the tables despite our efforts to stop her.

Without getting too personal Eileen gave birth to some of the biggest babies I, and many of the hospital staff, had ever seen. She didn’t hold it against them though, she was a good mother despite the pain they had caused her.

Our house was “The meeting place” for many of the neighborhood kids because of Eileen’s hospitality. Eileen drove our kids, and many others, to sporting events, Choral Concerts, doctors’ appointments, the movies, carnivals and more.

Years ago when the kids were very little, Eileen would take them with her to shop or run whatever errands she needed to take care of while I was at work. She sometimes mentioned to me that neighbors, with fewer kids, would often leave their children with her so they could shop. She didn’t mind, but we did chuckle at the irony.

I have a story for everything, I know, but here’s a story that combines some of the things I mentioned above.

Years ago, when the kids were still very young Eileen took them (There were six at the time) to the grocery store. She was pulling one cart and pushing the other with kids of various ages holding onto her, or a cart, or sitting in a cart. A couple of young girls (early to mid-twenties) made small talk with her, and the kids, as they passed in the aisles. Eileen thought nothing of it until she got to the checkout. Imagine in how many ways she was being distracted- keeping the kids with her, stopping them from grabbing items they wanted, stopping little squabbles…

Eileen unloaded the cart and started looking for her purse. Not over her shoulder, not in the first cart, not in the second cart. The cashier said, “That will be three hundred dollars (or whatever). She said, “I can’t find my purse.” Then Kelly, one of the children riding in the cart who had been sitting right next to Eileen’s purse said, “Oh, our friends took it.”

Some people might have fallen apart. Eileen called the police, called me (Her car keys were also in the purse, so she needed me to leave work and bring my keys) and took care of business with six kids, no purse, melting frozen items and a lot of new problems on her mind. NOTE: She was a bit upset when I got there, but she was still thinking and asked me to pick up new locks for the house and change them before we went to bed so burglary wouldn’t be added to our problems.

Eileen is a go-to person in many ways, for many people. The kids, although they are grown, often call her for advice or just to talk.

Here are some of the reasons I graduated from father to grandfather. Jaime, made me a father, being my first child, and then a grandfather with her three boys- she also gave me two grand-puppies. Erin- who gave me one grand-puppy (She says that counts) and Bridget who has two boys and a girl- and also has a puppy.

It is a pleasure to, occasionally, babysit, play with and talk with the grandkids. I love this role as much as I love being a father.

The girls are in a many ways tie for the best mother award in my book- also a many ways tie for the best kid award, thanks to the work done by their mother.

Eileen’s mother embraced me as another son the day I asked for her daughter’s hand, and she showed me nothing but love until she died. I visited her when she was in at home hospice and, even in her weakened state as her life was ebbing away, I felt she was glad I had come to say goodbye.

She raised six children also. I was glad to have known her and happy that we continued to have a good relationship after Eileen and I divorced.

These are my top mothers, in addition to my grandmothers, my sisters, my aunts, cousins, nieces and more. I give my love and a very happy belated Mother’s Day to all of the mothers who are reading this!

Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment about the blog, your mother, your experiences as a mother…. If a comment section does not follow the article- it won’t on some computers- please tap on the title and it will download after the article. Sorry for any inconvenience. I am working on the problem.

Phil