MY IDEA OF A MENTAL HEALTH BREAK

I have read, and believe, that “Mental Health Breaks” are a fantastic way to reduce stress and improve your overall mental health.

There is a consensus in the psychiatric community that stress leads to suicide, and we owe it to ourselves to prioritize stress reduction.

For me, working as a cop for 35 years, in a county jail for 6 and on patrol for 29, I had enough experience with suicides and attempted suicides to last more than a lifetime. I was in time to stop some. Unfortunately, I was not able to stop many more. A large majority of the calls came after a family member, coworker or an unfortunate stranger came upon the victim.

I am proud to say that, I believe, I did save some lives during my career. That was one of my reasons for becoming a police officer and I got a great deal of satisfaction on those days where I made a real difference.

Unfortunately, I have lost a loved one to suicide. An unavoidable question that came to me that day, and many days since was, “What more could I have done to prevent it?” There is no answer, and there are many answers. I guess, the fact that I don’t know for sure may be a gift from God.

Losing a loved one to suicide no longer makes me unique. I recently went on a suicide prevention walk with thousands of other people who have lost family members, friends, workmates or are supporting someone who is a suicide survivor or has thought of taking their own life.

Enough about suicide, I have written about it recently and will probably write about it again, but not today.

Today, I want to write about some of the many ways people can vent off some of the pressure that modern society and daily stress can cause to build within us.

Different things work for different people.

I was in the inaugural police academy for corrections officers held at Police Training Institute on the campus of The University of Illinois in Champaign Illinois. Patrol officers had been going to police academies for years, but my class was the first directed towards the different circumstances’ correctional officers deal with.

One of the classes dealt with suggestions on how to effectively deal with stress- a relatively new concept to me at the time. To familiarize the class with the idea, the instructor gave out sheets of paper with, I think it was 10, stressors written on them. As he handed the material out, he was asking us to place a check next to any of the major life events listed that we had experienced within the last two years. He added that anything over 5 is troublesome and assured us that we would probably not fall in that range because we were all so young.

This was his first time teaching the subject. This was my first time thinking seriously about trying to reduce stress in my life, or even recognizing that there was stress in my life. I had 8 of the 10 stressors. Some of the ones I remember were: Recently married, having a new child, buying a new house and getting a new job. I almost ruined his class. But he recovered quickly.

At the end of the class, he gave me pamphlets for counseling available at no charge to sworn officers and urged me to take advantage of it. He reminded me of the lesson he had just taught us- Stress is a ticking time bomb if it is not managed properly.

Unfortunately for me, I did not take stress reduction as seriously as I should have back then.

My family grew quickly, and I basically worked, watched the kids, took care of “fix-it” jobs around the house, and then worked some more. This was not healthy for me or my marriage. I didn’t have time to do anything other than make the most money I could. I took a lot of 6th days (Overtime days), and worked details (Outside security jobs), and took part-time jobs when the other opportunities temporarily dried up.

I, like so many others, felt that I was healthy, and everything would take care of itself.

I attended job related classes about stress. When my son was diagnosed with autism, I started reading up on that and learned more about how stress can affect a person’s mental health and lead to catastrophic results.

I was storing up knowledge about what I should be doing, but I wasn’t doing it.

Now that I’m retired, I realize that I was slowly killing myself by not taking care of my basic needs. My always low blood pressure, is now high. I have symptoms that, my doctor suggests, are the result of abusing my body for my first 60+ years. I think I should pamper it for the next sixty and then, after that, I’ll reevaluate!

I have always worked long hours and that wore down the only engine I had. I realized that many of the stress reducers I had way back when I was attending the Corrections Police Academy were disposed of in an effort to become a better husband and father. I stopped bowling, playing softball and other sports, and I called an end to the weekly poker night my friends and I had when we were all single. My wife, Eileen, and I stopped “dating” to save money, or for lack of time- for some reason- it stopped happening. I stopped hanging out with my friends because, “There just wasn’t enough time,” or whatever excuse I used.

I was eliminating all of the stress reducers from my life at the same time I was adding additional stress!

Recently, after retirement, I started bowling again, coincidentally, I’m on the same league I was on before I got married. I’m trying to learn how to golf- I’m not sure if that’s a stress reducer or a cause of stress at this point.

These things are helping me to relax and try to adapt to this thing called retirement after working overtime for most of my life.

I have really enjoyed these releasers and they, not only help me to relax, but also give me something to look forward to. I was just now proofreading what I’ve written so far, and it dawned on me that writing this blog is also a great stress reliever -unless I’m writing about politics- that topic is a stress “amplifier” for me.

My main stress reliever, I think, is taking drives in the country and communing with nature or praying.

I live in the Midwest, not far from a lot of farms. For me, driving past corn fields, seeing the scattered barns, some new, some halfway to the junk heap, seeing the occasional abandoned car with grass growing high above the axles (wondering if I could salvage it) is better than going to a weekend retreat! How about seeing old tractors and plows that were parked next to the barn 30 years ago and left there? When I see those sights I think, “Was that ‘Last resting place’ planned?” Looking at the barns that are ready to collapse I let my mind wander to the day they were built. Was it a big community “Barn raising” party like I’ve seen in some movies? Maybe it was ma and pa pulling up in the old Model T Ford with a few assorted family members to help!

Everyone has their own way to relieve stress. Some of my friends and family roll their eyes when I tell them how much I enjoy driving through the country looking at farms. I recall one of my daughter’s saying, “I think I just vomited in my mouth!” When I excitedly relayed to her where I had been on one of my “exploring” days. Others love the idea. I have a friend who I have gone on a motorcycle trip with who wanted to start planning a longer trip that would take us “just through farmland!”

That being said, I can’t say enough about stress reduction as a way to improve your mental health.

I LOVE IT! And, I believe, it has helped lower my blood pressure and give me more energy. Sorry if I sound like a commercial- but I do highly endorse it!

Some stress reducers I have heard and read about, in addition to mine, are: Hiking, boating, swimming, fishing, working out, reading/joining a book club, joining church groups, yard work, volunteering, woodworking, painting (with a small brush and canvas- not painting the house!), watching park district sporting events, journaling, chess clubs, checkers clubs, organizing a set movie night or anything you’ve wanted to do, but haven’t.

Thanks for reading, please comment about what you liked, didn’t like, or found interesting.

Phil